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| Episode: The Series has Landed
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Opener: In Hypno-Vision
Characters:
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Professor: As new employees, I'd like to your opinion on our commercial. I've paid to have it aired during the super bowl.
Fry: Wow.
Professor: Not on the same channel of course.
H.G.Blob: Evans where's that package from earth? (eats guy)
Guy: I'm not Evans!
H.B.Blob: He should have used planet express.
Voice: When those other companies aren't brave or fool-hearty enough to go, trust planet express for reliable on-time deliveries!
Evans: Here's your package Mr. Horrible Gelatinous blob.
H.G.Blob: Good work Evans. You've got a future around here. (eats Evans) *BURP*
Evans: Thank you sir!
Fry: I'm never gonna get used to the 31st century. Cafenated bacon, baconated grapefruit, Admiral Crunch.
Leela: Well if you don't like that, try some Arch Duke Chocula.
Professor: He manages my delivery business; pays the bills, notifies next of kin, what have you.
Hermes: Ok captain, this is just a standard legal release protecting planet express from lawsuits in the event of the unforeseen.
Leela: Death by airlock failure, death by brain parasites, death by sonic diaharea.
Hermes: whoa you don't want that one.
Leela: Look I don't know about your previous captains, but I plan to do as little dying as possible.
Hermes: Ho ho ha ha ho ho. Sign the paper!
Professor: I should warn you though, he's a little unusual. *whisper* He wears sandals.
Zoidberg: Now open your mouth and let’s have a look at that brain. (Fry opens his mouth)
Zoidberg: No, no no no, no, not that mouth.
Fry: I only have one.
Zoidberg: Really? (pulls out card)
Fry: Uh is there a human doctor around?
Zoidberg: Young lady, I'm an expert on humans! Now pick a mouth open it and say dodoododo.
Fry: Dododuhdoduh.
Zoidberg: What my mother was a saint, get out!
Professor: Dear lord Bender, you're filthy.
Bender: Yeah, Like you don't have crap in your neck.
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Fry: Well the doctor says I'm as healthy as a crab; can I go into space now?
Professor: Oh and Fry, this is our intern Amy Wong. She's an engineering student of mine. *whisper* I like having her around because she has the same blood type as me.
Bender: Hey rich girl look over here, it's me Bender! (does head dance) I'm being entertained. Da da da Look at my head. It's so crazy, look at my head. I got big ol' head, hey ho. (finishes stealing money) All right show's over, I'm tired.
Professor: Ah to be young again, and also a robot!
Fry: I'm gonna be a famous hero. Just like Neil Armstrong and those other brave guys no one ever heard of.
Amy: I love stuff like the moon, can I come Leela.
Leela: Well, I guess so, just be careful. I'd like to hold off any major screw ups until at least my second day as captain.
Professor: Nothing will go wrong! *whisper* if something goes wrong bring back the blood.
Fry: Can I do the countdown?
Leela: Huh? Oh sure knock yourself out.
Fry: Ten, nine...
Leela: Ok we're here!
Fry: *hurriedly* 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 blastoff.
Fry: Hurry up I wanna see the moon!
Leela: Relax it's open till nine.
Fry: That's one small step for Fry!
Guy: And one giant line for admission.
Fry: WOW! Can I have cuts?
Guy: Hmmm, hmmmmmmm, hmmmmm, NO!
Amy: Guh, it's the happiest place orbiting earth!
Fry: Well let's just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it.
Bender: Too much work. Let's burn it, and say we dumped it in the sewer.
Leela: Ok if everyone's finished being stupid.
Fry: I had more, but you go ahead.
Amy: Aye aye captain, I mean only one eye, I mean yes sir, uh mamm.
Fry: Greetings moon man, we come in peace, I am Fry from the planet earth.
Lazy Guy: Wise guy huh, If I wasn't so lazy I'd punch you in the stomach.
Fry: But you are lazy, right?
Lazy Guy: Awww, don't get me started.
Costumed Guy: Hi I'm Crater Face. Welcome to Luna park, I'll have to confiscate your alcohol sir.
Bender: Better mascots than you have tried. (sticks bottle in face)
Costumed Guy: At least I still have my self respect. (starts laughing and then cries)
Leela: ughh. Who buys this trash?
Bender: Idiots who need gifts for other idiots.
Fry: Hey I got you guys’ refrigerator magnets. (Fry puts one on Bender)
Bender: Get it off, Get it off, get it.... uhoh (starts folk singing, Fry takes off magnet).
Robot whaler: Bender, Hey Bender over here.
Bender: Oh jees I went to high school with that guy.
Fry: This is weak.
Robot Gopher: Address all complaints to the Monsento corporation.
Bender: Yeah you're the kinda guy who visits Jerusalem and doesn't wanna see the sexeteria.
Leela: And the line's short cause it's educational.
Fry: I don't care how educational it is, let's do it.
Bender: Next year in Jerusalem.
Amy: Leela's gonna kill me.
Bender: Nah, she'll probably make me do it.
Amy: Mister could you please get those keys out for me.
Lazy guy: What do I look like, a guy who's not lazy?
Voice: No one knows where when or how man first landed on the moon.
Fry: I do.
Voice: But our fungineers think it might have gone something like this.
Fry: That's not how it happened!
Leela: Oh really I don't see you with a fungineering degree.
(Fry falls in pit)Fry: Uh I'm ready to go back now. We're gonna die, every man for himself. (falls in quicksand) Help me leela!
Fry: You did it, we're safe!
Leela: No, now we're gonna die. (points to empty oxygen tank)
Fry: It's every man for himself.
Bender: Look what I won from a tourists pocket.
Bender: Com'n, it's just like making love. You know, left, down, rotate 62 degrees, engage main rotor.
Amy: I know how to make love.
Bender: Lousy arm must be rigged. That's her officers, that's the woman that programmed me for evil.
Bender: Yeah well, I'm gonna go build my own theme park with blackjack and hookers. In fact forget the park.
Fry: I'm sorry Leela I can't go on any further, just leave me to die in that barn over there.
Farmer: Looky here city girl, oxygen don't grow on trees.
Fry: Fahrenheit or Celsius?
Farmer: First one, then the other.
Fry: Bender, you didn't touch the Crushinator did you?
Bender: Of course not, a lady that fine you gotta romance first.
Leela: Hurry before we freeze.
Bender: What do you mean we, mammal?
Professor: Oh my I otta do something, BUT I am already in my pajamas (goes to sleep).
Fry: Look it's that flag from MTV!
Bender: Oh no room for Bender huh! Fine. I'll go build my own lunar lander, with blackjack and hookers. In fact forget the lunar lander and the blackjack. Eh screw the whole thing.
Leela: If the oxygen holds out, we might live long enough to starve to death.
(Bender breathing hard) Farmer: Had to come back for the Crushinator, ey robot, well I got you this time.
(Amy saves them all as Bender folk sings 'She'll be comin round the mountain')
THE END
written by Nick Cates
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